Ronaldo was wobbling about in a off-side position before he took the pass from midfield, wobbled about a bit more, and slid the ball through to Adriano for the opener. Aussie Guus says it was off-side and that's close enough for government work.
The Fat Controller was buggered if he was going to be outrun by that bloody Mr Whippy van again
2. Logic by induction: They wouldn't have scored the second if they hadn't scored the first.
By the end of the match Straya had at least three strikers on (yes, Viduka still qualifies) and had pushed everyone bar the team bus driver and the guy who does Kewell's pigtails (now facing redundancy) wayyy upfield to try and nick an equaliser; Brazil attacked on the break and got a second through your friend and mine, Fred. Now do you think Aussie Guus would have directed full-scale attack had the game been goalless and Australia minutes away from a point which, considering the result of the earlier game would have all-but-ensured our place in the second round? Hell no. So without the first goal, which was off-side, there wouldn't have been a second. Therefore, Australia drew with Brazil, nil-all. Which brings us to step 3.
3. Taking the moral high ground: Holding the Brazilians nil-all is undoubtedly a moral victory for the Socceroos.
For Australia (a plucky little nation of battlers from Struggle Street with no history whatsoever in world football, ranked #42 in the world, etc), a goalless draw with Brazil (five-time world champions, samba kings of football, barely need to turn up etc) is as good as a win.
That was easy. Can I have a job with Channel Nine now, Eddie?
Next week: we prove categorically that black is white, and get run over on a pedestrian crossing. And get sued by Douglas Adams' copyright lawyers.
3 comments:
you forgot that harry missed a sitter that he would have taken 99 times in 100, so really we won 1-0 and should be in the next round.
luckily he made up for it later by blowing up at the ref telling him what a tosser he was (in much more colourful and Australian language)...he done his country proud, maaaate
oh yeah and he was an arse and got away without getting in trouble...which is the most Australian aspect of the whole thing :)
I think the main reason Kewwwell got off was that the points he made while discussing the game with the ref (namely that he was a fucking useless arseclown who was as bent as a dog's hind leg, had poorer eyesight than Stevie Wonder on a dark night with his sunglasses on, and secretly wanted to bear the Fat Controller's children) were, on the whole, and in the opinion of FIFA, accurate.
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