The inevitable post about Wikileaks

Much discussion has taken place since the advent of Wikileaks as to what a proportional and appropriate response would be on behalf of the US Gummint (who, to date, remains the primary target of the releases) towards Wikileaks and its slightly creepy crusading-journo/Bond-supervillain-wannabe leader Julian Assange. Options appear to range from killing him, to... erm... torturing his his children, then killing him. Admittedly it's mostly batshit loony politicians and the uber-right-wing Cletus Meedier in the US conducting the dialogue, so you tend to get that level of intellectual discourse when paddling around the shallow end of the gene pool.

Assange's stint in Hi-5 was a short one

Personally, whether you think Wikileaks is a Force for Awesome or something which needs to be shut the fuck down faster than Warnie's career as a variety show host, it seems clear to me that the response from Foggy Bottom needs to be measured, proportional and appropriate. So what I'm suggesting is that the US sets up a dot-org website to systematically release diplomatically awkward information about Julian Assange, which while essentially low-level and no-shit-Sherlock of nature, would nonetheless embarrass him on the world stage and cause him to have to apologise a shitload.

Such as:

• He was a bedwetter.
• He's never been able to form meaningful relationships.
• His real name is Dave Brown but he changed it to sound more International Man Of Mystery.
• He picks his nose.
• And eats it.
• He was the one who took the last Tim Tam from the Wikileaks office fridge. And lied about it. So much for being a crusader for truth.
  
• He totally plagiarised all that Wikileaks stuff from other people's material. Diplomats mostly.
• He cheats at Solitaire.

I think that would be an appropriate response. The only problem with it, as far as I can see, is coming up with a suitable name and URL. For some reason I'm not thinking assleaks.org is going to convey the appropriate tone.

The Doctor is OUT.