On shaky ground

Steve Price is a lovely fullah. Mild-mannered, decent and reliable. As captain of the NZ Warriors he's undoubtedly the Shaky Isles' favourite Aussie, and his media-friendliness and on-field leadership has done more for the Warriors' cause than anyone could reasonably credit. Probably has as much to do with the spike in popularity in League in NZ as the indifferent form of the perennially choking All Blacks.

Yup, Steve Price is a good bloke. But Jesus Christ he can't fight.

Admittedly, he didn't look like he actually wanted to, when Brett White picked him in the dying moments of an apocalyptic Origin fixture at the Grand Old Girl Cauldron Suncorp Stadium for an astonishingly innocuous knee when White was resuming the upright to play the ball. To be fair, White looked like he just wanted to punch someone, or something, because he's ever so slightly thick. He IS from Melbourne after all. He'll be quite disappointed the credit for the hit which finally established the Price was Wrong, Bitch had to be shared with the late, random, cretinous and completely superfluous-to-requirements intervention of Trent Waterhouse, who got sent for it. Punching on is fine, but turning up after the fact and trying to split it up is a heinous fucking war crime apparently.


All part of the master plan, though. One-in all-in, win the stink and win the game, was NSW's declared strategy, according to avowed retard AVO Watmough. It'd seem Roy and HG, having been shut out of calling matches by the NRL's digital rights policy, have taken a gig as NSW's tactics coaches. Successfully, given the scoreline and the temper tantrum thrown by Justin Hodges before and after the final siren, with his take on the All Blacks Naughty Haka aimed in Trent Barrett's direction. Apparently Barrett, after his sly hit on Bowraville's Greg Inglis in game 2, is For It the next time Hodges and his Big Mates meet up with him, when the Broncos play the second-from-bottom Sharks in Round 22. Better hope Hodges and his Big Mates actually turn up for that one. Last time: second-from-bottom Sharks 46, Broncos 12. And given Hodges' representative captain attempted to remove the Wolfman's head with his boot rather than let the beardy nutter score a try, the fuckwit doth protest too much methinks.

Of course suspicion remains that losing Game 3 was a premeditated tactic on Queensland's part to retain Darren Lockyer in the Maroons side... and intercept specialist Brett Kimmorley in the Blues lineup. Sadly - for both sides - Kimmorley played the best game of Origin in his nuggety midget life (not that hard given what it had to compare with) and is, it would appear, the future of NSW halfbacks. Unless Sterlo or Tommy Raudonikis replace him.

Meanwhile, in accordance with the Old Man's great theory of the universe - that with time, Things Get Wobbly (houses, cars, people etc) - the South Island got wobbly last evening to the tune of 7.8 on the Richter scale, not to mention a mild puckering on the Sphincter scale. In honour of this great event - or just as an excuse to crank up one of my favourite underappreciated Aussie bands of the past few years - you just gotta Shake It.



The Doctor is OUT.