This appears to be genetic. For Xmas my eldest, world-renown as Monster v1.0, got a bunch of Bob the Builder Mega Bloks (what I'd have called Duplo as a kid) machines - Scoop, Muck and Dizzy, and Roley too, Lofty and Wendy, join the crew... erm sorry about that. Persistent earworm infection. He got a Scoop, a Roley, a Lofty and some sort of minor forklift character who noone can remember the name of. TradeMe.co.nz FTW. He also got a bunch of Pixar Cars Mega Bloks stuff, after staying with friends whose eldest had the whole set of characters (bastards.) And, once they'd all been played with, dismantled, remantled in much the same order, and crashed into each other at speed, there remained only one thing left to do.
Make MONSTER TRUCKS out of em.
I give you the Summer Collection from the Monster Truck Lab, Yobbo Skunkworks Custom Engineering Ltd. (Special Projects Manager: Chief Development Engineer Monster v1.0)
Starting materials: Doc Hudson, Tow Mater and the Lightning McQueen twins, in dire need of being OPTIMISED, if not FULLY SICKED.
The Lightning McQueen brothers, converted to all-terrain spec courtesy a pair of junked Caterpillar earthmoving trucks, looking schmick and looking for chicks. If not Chick Hicks. Heh heh. A little Cars humour for you there. That whistling sound is it sailing over your head. We'll just pretend that never happened and move on.
Doc Hudson, pimped to the max and rollin' on blingin' colour-matched dubs. I AM THE LAW.
Tow Mater, Top Fuel Dragster spec. Standing quarter mile in ten seconds flat. Unless he has to answer a roadside callout on the way. In which case he's next to useless as the rear wing gets in the way, but you get that on the big jobs.
The Yobbo Skunkworks Monster Truck Collection, Summer 2010.
See them at your local dealer...
... Hang on, the Chief Development Engineer doesn't like the shot. It's the lighting, and the sightlines, and the mood, and the vibe, and the ambience. Not the ambulance, that's out of shot (rolling on 22" dubs with a SUBWOOFAAA the size of an asteroid crater where the patients usually repose - from sick to FULLEH SIIIICK, one might say). No, no, this just doesn't work for him. And the revised towing-compliant package for Tow Mater isn't part of his 'vision'. Not at all. And he can't possibly work under these conditions, how can anyone creative be expected to endure this kind of...
Cue American Chopper style familial dummy-spit - stand up, point fingers, be shouty, throw chair, storm off, pause for editing. (And look out for our new reality show coming to Discovery Channel in April.)
The Doctor (and the Chief Development Engineer) are OUT.
3 comments:
leave rusty gould alone
So let's just say and get it out of the road. This. is. why. you. have. kids.
I was gonna do a sly joke about them being "M.v.1.0's toys". But let's face, you paid for them, they are merely lent to the youngun when the missus and visitors are around - unless they actually "buy" the 'you playing with your kids routine'. Really, they are playing with you.
Schmick mate, schmick.
ALD and Rupert - thanks, that's the kind of positive reinforcement that makes writing this worthwhile
Moko - SHHHHHHH. My wife might read this and then it's OVER for all mankind. And I use that term advisedly.
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