It's been fifteen years, and I still don't get Wonderwall. Not the lyrics, not the message - just what the fuck everyone else saw in the thing. Just about the biggest song of the 1990s, the calling card of one of the biggest bands of their generation... and I have to admit, I never actually liked the bastard. Not then and not now. Not because I don't like Oasis - though at the time I thought they were wankers - just because they had better songs. Most of which were on Definitely Maybe. Noel and his fruit platter once said of his pre-Oasis songwriting stockpile, all his A1 material went on Definitely Maybe, the next best on Morning Glory, and by the time they got to Be Here Now he was out of killer and down to filler. And also very, very off chops on Charlie. So yeah, Wonderwall... it's OK, but it's no Shakermaker. Or Cigarettes & Alcohol. Or Supersonic...
I'm like that with The Iconic Songs/Albums Of Our Generation, though. I either missed the point for years on end, or never got it to this day. Smells Like Teen Spirit... yeah, it's a'ight. Angsty bit of thrash-punk. Not much to it. It didn't speak to me as a teen because basically I had fuck all substantive to be angsty about. I discovered Nevermind as an album (and a pretty fucking decent one it is, to be fair) about ten years after the fact. The Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Majik I was a much earlier adopter of. Got into that one about four or five years after its actual release date. Definitely Maybe? About ten years late. And likewise for most of the milestone albums of the 1990s. Pearl Jam Vs - a good eight years after the fact; likewise U2's Achtung Baby or Metallica's black album. Blur? Never really got them but after watching their Hyde Park reunion gig flying Air NZ transtasman the other week, it might be time to go raid iTunes. Occasionally, like with Reef's Glow, the Dandy Warhols' Come Down or Shihad's The General Electric I somehow contrived to trip over The Next Big Thing at the azimuth of their cred and be momentarily Incredibly Hipster Cool without actually intending to. Then I'd go and buy AC/DC's Ballbreaker or the best of Motley Crue (apparently there was some) and my CD collection would go back to being a romantic liability.
Which is the real point, after all. As an unattached seeker of luuurrrve in the Nineties and Noughties, if your CD collection wasn't getting you roots, what the fuck was it there for? If you've ever had to reorganise the most cringeworthy items of your collection to the back of the cabinet - or even had to pretend to be into some shithouse act in order to appear shaggable to some particular intended of the moment - you'll know of which I speak. A quick glance at someone's CDs told you more about that person than a series of intimate dates at the cheapest restaurants in the inner west would ever tease out of them. That girl with Pete Murray's Feeler welded into the carousel of her CD player, with So Beautiful no longer able to be played due to having laser burns etched into it from overplaying... she may have baggage. Possible red flag there. Britney, Christina, Mandy Moore... still mentally 12 years old. Proceed at own risk. Tori Amos... either significantly damaged, or a post-op trannie. Caveat emptor. Thirsty Merc or Collective Soul... Christian. Probably better off with the trannie. The Donnas... drunk and promiscuous; as Al Davis might have put it, just win, baby.
Which throws the question over to you, dear reader - what is either
(a) the album in your collection which has cost (or gained) you the most action, and/or
(b) the most shameful, cringeworthy band or performer you've pretended to be into in the pursuit (futile or otherwise) of romantic success.
Your time starts.... nnnnnnnow.
The Doctor is OUT.
12 comments:
The answer to both your questions is Coldplay. I suspect those descriptors would also be apt for most of Coldplay's audience, apart from the gusset-wetting pre-teens.
And btw - did not realise the 90s teen angst passed you by. It explains so much about you. The fact that I fell into it hook line and sinker is, I suspect, all too obvious. But fuck it... it is what it is and I ain't regretted it.
do I even need to post in this comment field? :P
Duuuuuuuude I seriously have a post-in-progress about "Wonderwall."
God I never got into Smells like Teen Spirit either.
I liked Pearl Jam growing up. And I had Britney, Chistina and all the boy bands.
But mostly I had Madonna.
What does that say about me then?
Oh goodness, being single through a lot of the nineties, there were a few bands I liked, but not the typical favourites, Live and Red Hot Chilli Peppers come to mind, but back then it was all about going to the pub and proceeding to drink my own weight in vodka too, so the memory is just a little dim. Basically if it was a thumping good track for the dance floor then I loved it. That was about it.
The only Oasis song I kind of liked was Bittersweet Symphony and Coldplay just left me...cold.
Bittersweet Symphony was actually by The Verve. It cost them their career due to some copyright issues with the Rolling Stones. Interestingly, I just read on wiki that Richards and Jagger have songwriting credits for the tune now.
Albion - the lack of Triple J until I was in year 12 probably also contributed. Hard to be properly angsty to regional pop FM radio
Adam - perhaps a separate section is required for cases in which other peoples' music preferences have cost roots?
Moko - Def Maybe is a pretty bloody good album because it's not the whiny clonal ballads which you think of when you think Oasis. But separating the music from the whole pop culture wank that went on with them at the time is a mission. It's fair to say I always had a gut reaction against whatever the Current Big Thing was, some sort of anti-sheep mentality. Never got into the Simpsons or the X Files for instance
Jen - given I was 13 when Teen Spirit came out you must have been 11 - a bit early for proper teen angst to have developed
Daze and ALD - yup BS Symphony has a Jagger/Richards writing credit even though the sample Dick Ashcroft used was actually from the orchestral arrangement of one of their early songs, which they didn't really write.
First series and mid way thru the second X-Files was good. But lost it when the fanbois got hold of it.
No album in my collection has greased the wheels of sexual congress. In my case, conspicuous wealth worked much better. I have a cologne that smells like money. It drives women wild with desire.
I'll go back into the mists of prehistory.
Back in my school days, I bought a young lady I was fond of a copy of Journey's 'Frontiers' (Yeah, laugh it up. I'm older than most of you and you oughta have a bit more respect for yer elders).
Did it work? Did I get to spend an evening of bliss with that beautiful, magical, special brown-eyed girl?
Oh, hell, no.
Fucking Live indeed. A mate of ours was obsessed with that album, played it every time we had a high school pissup... erm, party. GIven they were actually a Christian rock act one wonders whether any girl devoted to them would be available for fun pants-off times anyway
I was playing "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors during one successful attempt so I guess that counts. As for sad shit, I ended up with a lucky door prize from a school dance, Jonathon Fucking Livingfuckingstone Fucking Seafuckinggull fucking by fucking Neil Fucking Diafuckingmond. Made a great one use only frisbee. I asked what 2nd prize was and they had a Rod Stewart album, the fuckers and they wouldn't let me swap.
I later put the pieces back in the album cover and gave it to an oink at school. Its generally what I do to albums I reckon belong elsewhere - give them away as random presents.
Totes fucking agree on Oasis. Now I just wish they'd top each other and be done with it.
Holden FTW. But then I guess Ford don't have many drivers left.
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