Random fragments

I have a pretty shit phone. It's not an iPhone, so at least I'm not one of you weird sick Pod People who think it's entirely appropriate to drop a grand on something which will probably just get run over by some fkn muppet the next time you have a minor traffic incident. It has Bluetooth, but only version 1 which is less use than the Liberal Party of Australia. It has a camera, but that's even more desperately shit than the aforementioned. However, even a shit camera is better than none. And with that by way of setting the scene (thanks v. much HG Nelson) here are a bunch of Random Fragments of Yobbo Life as captured by a crappy old Panasonic X70 bought off the interweb and subtitled by a man drinking a beer.


Te Reo Maori is the official second language of New Zealand. You can answer questions in University exams in it if you want. Personally I have to admit to being cynical about the practical utility of a language developed by a seafaring island warrior people for modern, technologically confronting Western life.

I now stand corrected. Te Reo Maori's fucken tops.


Beer. It's good. Particularly random, obscure, delicious, crystal-clear German pilsners deposited on a pallet in the middle of a local supermarket for $45 a case. That's the kind of bargain-hunting win we like to celebrate here at the World of Bollocks.

Bit of a tribute to German precision, this, with the Tucher Pils reclining on the nearest available flat surface - that being the boot of our Audi A4 2.6, which was the best four grand I've spent on a car in the history of spending four grand on cars. It's fucken tops too.


Was markedly less so last month when some muppet reversed into it at an intersection, for reasons known only to herself, however.

Still, all good now.








Got the Audi the week after Bathurst. I know this because it was in a post-Bathurst hungover stupor I received the news our Astra had been written off in our last traffic bingle, two weeks before the Sunday of the Great Race. This, more happily, was one of the 'Before' shots from that monstrous day of competitive drinking and bingeing on low budget barbequed animal extract. I still involuntarily shiver when anyone mentions safety cars.

This was the view from the lads' place we watched the race at, up on the ridge overlooking St Clair Beach in Dunedin. I can see my house from here. Not very well but. I did say it was a shit phone.


Tried one of these for Beeso, since he rates them so. In the process forgetting (a) I'd already tried them several summer seasons ago and (b) they were and remain sickly-sweet confections of arse; a heady confection of ginger, bush honey, cloves and something which crawled up the arse of the head brewer and died. Recommended for cough medicine aficionados and people who don't like beer. See also Radler, Monteiths.


Movember, which has just been completed by our AWSM TEAM OF AWSM AWSMNESS the Magnum PI All Stars, saw the first occasion upon which I've actually had to purchase shaving cream in approximately five years.








It wasn't the worst of looks in the end. Though the Speights 'Duck Shooting Season 2009' camo cap (which I choose to wear ironically) perhaps doesn't go spectacularly well with the NSW Country Origin jumper.







Still, you gotta dress up right for the big occasions on the social calendar. Like test cricket at the University Oval. Best sustained five days of test cricket since the Aussies and the Saffers at the SCG last Jan, IMO. And a nail-biting finish to boot.




















Five dollar plastic bots of Speights I could have done without though. Bastards.











Went to Moeraki last week for our work Xmas lunch. It's a little fishing village about an hour north of D-town, not too dissimilar to the sort of town I grew up in. Nice spot. We went there for Fleur's Place, a famous seafooderie renown by foodies, cuisiniers, critics and punishing food-porn addicts alike. Food was excellent, view was likewise. A laptop and mobile broadband, and you could even call it your office, should you be so lucky as to call the South Island your office...

Which is another topic entirely, but we'll leave that discussion until after tomorrow's job interview.


Lastly... is it just me, or is there some, erm, ambiguity to the interpretation of this headline?

...No?

Just me then?


Hmmm.




The Doctor is OUT.