Isn't it moronic: Additional

A late addendum to our earlier discussion on irony. While revenge is a dish best served cold, irony is a beverage best sampled as bitter as it is delicious, like Czech Pilsner.

Craig Bellamy is a short angry Welshman who plays for Liverpool. He hasn't played for Liverpool for very long, and he's not likely to play for Liverpool for very much longer. Bellamy has had more Premiership clubs than he's had court appearances for assault - just - and is yet to leave a club on amicable grounds, it's fair to say. His football career has been characterised by fallouts with managers, blowups with teammates, sendings-off and suspensions, and generally making a complete twat of himself.

What makes this season likely to be Bellamy's first and last for the Reds is the revelation that while on a training retreat in Portugal last weekend, prior to the resumption of the Champions League Of Etc overnight, he took two things. Now, there's a suspicion of hypocrisy here; Scousers are renown for taking pretty much anything they can get their hands on, which is why visiting team buses parked outside Anfield on match day are often found up on blocks. However, the club's ire has largely revolved around what Bellamy took. As stated, he took two things: he took offence at ginger Danish centreback John-Arne Riise's refusal to sing karaoke with him while out on the turps, and then he took to Riise with a five-iron.

Which Liverpool FC and their wholesome new US owners have not taken kindly to, funnily enough.








Bellamy in characteristic pose









Riise in characteristic pose








Fleet Street in characteristically calm and reserved reportage of proceedings


Despite the weekend set-to, and the thermonuclear controversy that has erupted in the aftermath, both Bellamy and Riise were named in Liverpool's squad to play Barcelona in the first leg of this morning's Round of 16 knockout clash at the Nou Camp (that's Spanish for New Camp, you know). Barca's early lead was cancelled out by a first-half strike from: Craig Bellamy. A highly valuable away goal for the return leg at Anfield. Or make that two highly valuable away goals, with a Reds winner struck in the second half by: John-Arne Riise. From a pass across the area from: you guessed it. Craig Bellamy.

Folks, that's irony.

Or five-irony, if you will.


The Doctor is OUT.