Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends

So, Thomas Taw. Yes, him again. We've discussed his work in the past, turning up on the backs of shampoo bottles spouting absolute bollocks. He's still at it, because keep gettin' dem checks:

Yes it's a shit photo, this isn't Instagram, fuck off

Only a thorough wash, removing oil and residues, can leave your scalp fresh and energised.
- Thomas Taw, complete fucking genius

I'm glad that Tommy Boy is here to explain to us how to wash our hair. What's next, he explains conditioner isn't primarily designed for wanking with? (Unlikely, given the look of him)

And yet what I'm baffled... nay, flummoxed about, is why Unilever haven't extended this clearly market-dominating approach (cos you find me another Shampoo For Blokes in the aisle at your local superduopolymarket) to other products in their range of consumer goods.

Like toilet paper, for instance. 

Only a thorough wipe, removing dags from matted arsehairs...

There's a thought. Despite decades of specialisation in shampoo technology, they still haven't developed one for the downstairs shrubbery. Not everyone's into Brazilians, you racists.

The Doctor is OUT.