So, I was driving along Portsmouth Drive this morning, as the name suggests, and contrary to the above piss-dismal photoshop, all six Harbour Mouth Molars were present and correct, or as correct as the equally piss-dismal artists' vision would have. There was, however, a forest of traffic cones right across the grass median, with a road sign warning of a 'SINK HOLE', and an inverted AU Falcon propped up with the front third hacked off (courtesy the smash repairs place whose logos were stickered all over the chassis) to give the incredibly lame impression of having 'sunk' into a 'hole'. This, of course, slowed traffic in two directions to a crawl right in the middle of morning peak hour (yes we have one, fuck off.) Slow clap, Bodyline Collision Repair. You fucking flogs. If being named after an act of imperial cuntery by the British wasn't sufficient. APRIL FOOL LOL.
And speaking of piss-dismal photoshops (spoiler alert!)...
APRIL FOOL LOL.
For fuck's sake, ENOUGH. Enough with the crappy photoshops. Enough with the pissant hoaxes and first-year-engineering-student-level stunts. Enough with the lame-as-fuck MSM and PR pieces on Vegemite museums and watermelon-apple hybrids. Enough with April Fucking Fools Day. On the internet, EVERY DAY IS APRIL FOOLS DAY. Not just because courtesy the vagaries of timezones and the globalisation of media, April Fools now goes until well into mid-morning on the second. Not just because Photoshop is a thing people have and use. No, because hoaxes, fraudulence and fuckwittery are a 24-7-365 deal on the line. You don't need no April 1 timestamp to bust out the APRIL FOOL LOLs anymore. Get a load of these crackers:
U2 give away shit new album for free and are then forced to apologise for it
APRIL FOOL LOL.
In conclusion, fuck April Fools Day. It's old and tired and needs a bullet.
NAH JUST JOKES. APRIL FOOL LOL.
The Doctor is OUT.
